The next week after receiving my Nulasta shot, things were a little uncomfortable, but nothing to run to the doctor about. For instance, and I don't know if this is from the chemo or the shot, my stomach has some ummm, how shall I put this,.......... rumbling in the jungle. So, the rumbling starts, then........ the gas comes. Now, this ain't your average everyday lil toot. This gas sounds like a motorcycle is in our apartment. I don't understand for the life of me, how someone my size can emit such a roaringly thunderous noise. Dam, should I be worried. This does not sound possible or normal, this noise. Aaron seems to be at a loss for words, as this motor cycle keeps ripping through the rooms. I'm so so sorry he has to hear this, but it's so shocking that I can't help laughing at myself when it happens.
Also, I get these shooting pains in my stomach. It's mainly at night, when I'm laying and not moving around. But after I fall asleep, it's OK. The bone pain fades over the first week and the next week, I'm pretty much back to my normal self, other that a few naps through out the day. But the motor cycle still revs it up.
So, that's about it. Nothing to worry or complain about. Oh......speaking of worry. The doctor and nurse said that I would start loosing my hair 7 to 14 days after my first treatment, and also, that my urine would turn bright orange due to one of the drugs which is bright orange. Neither of things has happened yet. I'm curious as to why not. Oh, well, it's not like I'm dieing to have pee the color of fire, and I sure as cuss don't wanna loose my hair. So, like I said, No Worries., On to the next one.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Bone Pain Sucks
Thursday morning. Not so good. Bone pain. @#$%, bone pain sucks. I feel like I got beaten up by a number of people, or hit by a truck. Or at least, recovering from the afore mentioned.
This is not good. I don't like it one bit. I'm staying in bed for a while. I think I need a tylenol. Oh, boy. Ok, so here's the deal, I think I can live through this bone pain (which is just pain and aching through my bones and muscles. Even my scull hurts and my shoulders are sore to the touch, so is my rib cage). I don't wanna take yet another drug after having been pumped full of the chemo drugs. I'll have some breakfast, relax on my pillows ( I have throw pillows I lay out on the living room floor. I like it down there), and read a book.
Well, that didn't work. I can't stay focused or get comfortable enough to read. My toes hurt, the top of my head hurts, my thighs throb, my back is in turmoil and my shoulders feel like my brothers had a socking contest on them. Tylenol, Tylenol, ohhhhhh Tylenol here I come!!! 3 down..................................... I'm gonna take a nap and hopefully they will have taken full effect by the time I wake up.
They worked. Oh thank God, they worked. Still soreness, but the pain has subsided. Once the tylenol wears off, the pain is back, but not as intense. So tylenol (extra strength) is part of my new routine. (or advil)
This is not good. I don't like it one bit. I'm staying in bed for a while. I think I need a tylenol. Oh, boy. Ok, so here's the deal, I think I can live through this bone pain (which is just pain and aching through my bones and muscles. Even my scull hurts and my shoulders are sore to the touch, so is my rib cage). I don't wanna take yet another drug after having been pumped full of the chemo drugs. I'll have some breakfast, relax on my pillows ( I have throw pillows I lay out on the living room floor. I like it down there), and read a book.
Well, that didn't work. I can't stay focused or get comfortable enough to read. My toes hurt, the top of my head hurts, my thighs throb, my back is in turmoil and my shoulders feel like my brothers had a socking contest on them. Tylenol, Tylenol, ohhhhhh Tylenol here I come!!! 3 down..................................... I'm gonna take a nap and hopefully they will have taken full effect by the time I wake up.
They worked. Oh thank God, they worked. Still soreness, but the pain has subsided. Once the tylenol wears off, the pain is back, but not as intense. So tylenol (extra strength) is part of my new routine. (or advil)
Dam, I hate Shots
Wednesday night. Hummm, this place looks familiar. Oh yea, it's the cancer center. I was just here yesterday, and several times the week before.
So, tonight, I get a shot in my arm. Remember, for the white blood cell count. Here we go.....I go through my usual nervous breathing routine before the needle can even meet my arm............ whew whew whew, whew whew whew, whew whew whew, whew whew whew. Still not ready. whew whew whew, whew whew whew, whew whew whew. Ok Ok Ok, I'm ready. No No No, not yet. whew whew whew, whew whew whew......(.this goes on for far too long, but I can't help i)t..........Ok, ready. I crumple my body in an almost fetal position and hold my arm out so the nurse can spray and the shot the back of it. Contact made..... ouch, I feel it going in. Ewwwwwww. whew whew whew, whew w.....She's done..... This isn't a really quick shot. It's cold and I can feel the medicine going in, and she slowly pushes the plunger down. Elllk, yuk. Its, done, and home we go.
So, remember, the side effect of this drug is bone pain. Wish me luck. I'll let you know how I felt after receiving that shot.
So, tonight, I get a shot in my arm. Remember, for the white blood cell count. Here we go.....I go through my usual nervous breathing routine before the needle can even meet my arm............ whew whew whew, whew whew whew, whew whew whew, whew whew whew. Still not ready. whew whew whew, whew whew whew, whew whew whew. Ok Ok Ok, I'm ready. No No No, not yet. whew whew whew, whew whew whew......(.this goes on for far too long, but I can't help i)t..........Ok, ready. I crumple my body in an almost fetal position and hold my arm out so the nurse can spray and the shot the back of it. Contact made..... ouch, I feel it going in. Ewwwwwww. whew whew whew, whew w.....She's done..... This isn't a really quick shot. It's cold and I can feel the medicine going in, and she slowly pushes the plunger down. Elllk, yuk. Its, done, and home we go.
So, remember, the side effect of this drug is bone pain. Wish me luck. I'll let you know how I felt after receiving that shot.
The Blood Speaks
OK, we're back at the cancer center, eager to knock chemo session number two out of the ball park. But first things first. Blood work!!! I'll just get comfy in my pod while we wait for that to come back. Jerry's Deli is across the street and I'm a bit hungry. So is Aaron. So, Off to Jerry's he goes......................................And here he comes with a big ol' sandwich, and Lord bless me, french fries!!!
Lunch down, blood work back, blood count good, chemo ready to be administered. I got my Adavan to relax me, the anti nausea drug is first on the drip and I feel myself slowly drifting from consciousness.
All systems went. It's time to go home. I feel the same as I did the first time. I want food, hot bath, and my bed. Tomorrow I will go back to get the Nulasta shot to keep my white blood cell count up. That will be quick, so I will be in and out. I'll keep you posted on that turn of events. Until next time. Have happy thoughts!!!
.
Lunch down, blood work back, blood count good, chemo ready to be administered. I got my Adavan to relax me, the anti nausea drug is first on the drip and I feel myself slowly drifting from consciousness.
All systems went. It's time to go home. I feel the same as I did the first time. I want food, hot bath, and my bed. Tomorrow I will go back to get the Nulasta shot to keep my white blood cell count up. That will be quick, so I will be in and out. I'll keep you posted on that turn of events. Until next time. Have happy thoughts!!!
.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
On to the Next Step
I'm headed to see the doctor today, to see how my blood count is doing. I sure do pray that that nupagen shot was good at it's job. All is the same around here at the cancer center. Eager to help nurses, happy and sad patients, smiling doctors, and a host of other staff and volunteers ready to assist at the blink of an eye.
My favorite nurse has come to draw my blood. She is the best at accessing my port, I never feel a thing. My blood is in her trusty hands and off to the lab to be evaluated.
By the look on the doctors face, the evaluation is good..... Yep, it's good, he explains that the white blood count numbers are up and that when those numbers drop, I am at risk of catching any infections and viruses that could lead to hospitalization or even death.......... And suddenly, that shot don't seem so bad.
So, the new drill is that I will still have my biweekly chemo sessions, with the blood being tested prior to each session, and the day after chemo, I have to come back to get a shot. This shot has the same purpose as the resent shot I received. To boost my white blood cell count. Now, every drug has side effects, so whats the story with this nulasta shot? Bone pain. Hummm, I don't think I know what bone pain feels like. Well, I suppose I will find out soon enough. Or maybe I won't feel any of that. Until then, pray for me.
My favorite nurse has come to draw my blood. She is the best at accessing my port, I never feel a thing. My blood is in her trusty hands and off to the lab to be evaluated.
By the look on the doctors face, the evaluation is good..... Yep, it's good, he explains that the white blood count numbers are up and that when those numbers drop, I am at risk of catching any infections and viruses that could lead to hospitalization or even death.......... And suddenly, that shot don't seem so bad.
So, the new drill is that I will still have my biweekly chemo sessions, with the blood being tested prior to each session, and the day after chemo, I have to come back to get a shot. This shot has the same purpose as the resent shot I received. To boost my white blood cell count. Now, every drug has side effects, so whats the story with this nulasta shot? Bone pain. Hummm, I don't think I know what bone pain feels like. Well, I suppose I will find out soon enough. Or maybe I won't feel any of that. Until then, pray for me.
Unexpected Change
With the first chemo session under my belt and no complications, for the most part, I am ready to move on now with the next session.
I arrived at the C center, eager to get the next session out of the way. The usual blood work was done and after a while the results were back. The nurse, who I was ready to spend the day joking with (that is until I fell asleep), reluctantly informed me that I could not receive chemo, because my white blood cell count was too low. Jeeps, that was unexpected, considering I had just had blood work done not even a week ago and it was fine. The nurse said that the Dr prescribed a shot to boost the count and that I would be able to receive treatment the next week. So, I guess that first session did come with some complications. Nothing serious, or at least, nothing that can't be handled.
OK, so, this shot I just mentioned (the one to boost the blood count), get this!!! They can't give it to me through my port, they have to shoot me in my stomach or my arm. (ahhhhhhhhhhhh). I thought I was done with the freaking needles. Ugggggg. OK, so I'll take it in my arm, I never want to be shot in my belly. Ewwww, the thought makes me ill. But guess what!!!! The nurse says the can use the freezing spray, so hopefully I won't feel a thing.
So, that's that. No chemo today, shot to boost my blood count, Dr visit next week, and second chemo session next week. No sweat!!!
I arrived at the C center, eager to get the next session out of the way. The usual blood work was done and after a while the results were back. The nurse, who I was ready to spend the day joking with (that is until I fell asleep), reluctantly informed me that I could not receive chemo, because my white blood cell count was too low. Jeeps, that was unexpected, considering I had just had blood work done not even a week ago and it was fine. The nurse said that the Dr prescribed a shot to boost the count and that I would be able to receive treatment the next week. So, I guess that first session did come with some complications. Nothing serious, or at least, nothing that can't be handled.
OK, so, this shot I just mentioned (the one to boost the blood count), get this!!! They can't give it to me through my port, they have to shoot me in my stomach or my arm. (ahhhhhhhhhhhh). I thought I was done with the freaking needles. Ugggggg. OK, so I'll take it in my arm, I never want to be shot in my belly. Ewwww, the thought makes me ill. But guess what!!!! The nurse says the can use the freezing spray, so hopefully I won't feel a thing.
So, that's that. No chemo today, shot to boost my blood count, Dr visit next week, and second chemo session next week. No sweat!!!
Monday, September 6, 2010
The Day After: Am I Out of the Woods Yet!!!!
I awake this morning with great trepidation. I'm just gonna lay here in bed for a moment to see how I feel, because I'm not sure if I'm fully awake yet.........This isn't the worst. This isn't bad. This isn't bad at all!!!!!. I guess I was expecting the worst, but it's not here. The worst is far far away from me right now. I seem to feel fine and I'm ready to get on with my day. Not that my day consists of much at all (the show I was working on wrapped and is on hiatus, then the diagnosis came, so I haven't jumped back into anything work wise). I'm gonna go to the senior citizen home and exercise with Joe and then head back home to do some boring stuff. Crossword Puzzles and some reading...... I'm a fashionable nerd, in case you didn't know........ I wanna stay close to home today anyways, because I don't wanna be out in public and be overcome with a wave of nausea. That happened to me once (when I was younger, but still couldn't drink much), and I had to run out of the store to find a bush to call Earl. Anyways, I'm going home to see how things go for the rest of the day........................................................................................................................................................
So,2 crossword puzzles and a few chapters of a romance novel later, I'm still feeling fine. I mean, there is the issue of a sore throat and some soreness in my stomach, but no nausea to mention. Does this mean I'm out of the woods on that front? I certainly hope so. So, what I have felt today, is sore throat, sore stomach, and some chills. My temperature is normal (I have a thermometer on hand), my appetite is the same (voracious), and my pee isn't orange!!!!!!! I'd say today goes on record as a good one!!!!
So,2 crossword puzzles and a few chapters of a romance novel later, I'm still feeling fine. I mean, there is the issue of a sore throat and some soreness in my stomach, but no nausea to mention. Does this mean I'm out of the woods on that front? I certainly hope so. So, what I have felt today, is sore throat, sore stomach, and some chills. My temperature is normal (I have a thermometer on hand), my appetite is the same (voracious), and my pee isn't orange!!!!!!! I'd say today goes on record as a good one!!!!
Friday, September 3, 2010
DrIP DriP drIP: Chemo Session #1
Here we are. Lunch packed, movies in tow, books and magazines on hand. Cuss, you'd think we were going on a weekend get away or something. Nope, we are going to the cancer center for my 1'st chemo session. 6 hours, that's how long it's going take. 6 hours. Dam right we got movies and other distractions. Thats a days work right there!!!!
First thing first. Vitals checked. They are good and blood needs to be drawn and sent to the lab before chemo can be administered. OK, here we go with the blood drawing. Surprisingly, it is not that bad now that I have my port in place. They have this freezing spray that they spray on the skin, so now I don't feel a thing. This spray is the best thing since lemon cake. And I loooovvveee me some lemon cake (or pie)!!!!.
I'm all comfy in my little room. I call it my pod. It looks like a hospital room but smaller. The pod comes equipped with a television and DVD player, and it's very own, pull out toilet, inconspicuously built into what looks like an under sink cabinet. A bed for me, and a nice recliner for my always present boyfriend, Aaron. Look at us, two peas in a POD.
Blood work is back, and all systems a go. Bring on the chemo drugs. Anti-nausea drug first up to drip. Then comes my cocktail of 4 chemo drugs. All together, it will take them 4 hours to separately drip (thru the IV). The nurse gives me something to relax, and it's show time. I can just lie back and watch a movie, or two, considering how long we will be here. But, nope, instead, the relaxing drug has done well at it's profession, and I am fast asleep. When I awake, It is time to go home. Vitals checked again, and away I go (of course with a list of things of what to expect, and a list of reasons I should call the hospital.....)
I'm shocked, I feel fine. I think I can drive home. Aaron won't let me. Bad idea anyway, because once we start moving, I am fast asleep, again. We made it home, and all I want is food, bath (scalding hot), and my bed (oooooooo my bed. that's me rubbing my hands together in anticipation of my bed). Lets see what happens tomorrow. Nighty night.
First thing first. Vitals checked. They are good and blood needs to be drawn and sent to the lab before chemo can be administered. OK, here we go with the blood drawing. Surprisingly, it is not that bad now that I have my port in place. They have this freezing spray that they spray on the skin, so now I don't feel a thing. This spray is the best thing since lemon cake. And I loooovvveee me some lemon cake (or pie)!!!!.
I'm all comfy in my little room. I call it my pod. It looks like a hospital room but smaller. The pod comes equipped with a television and DVD player, and it's very own, pull out toilet, inconspicuously built into what looks like an under sink cabinet. A bed for me, and a nice recliner for my always present boyfriend, Aaron. Look at us, two peas in a POD.
Blood work is back, and all systems a go. Bring on the chemo drugs. Anti-nausea drug first up to drip. Then comes my cocktail of 4 chemo drugs. All together, it will take them 4 hours to separately drip (thru the IV). The nurse gives me something to relax, and it's show time. I can just lie back and watch a movie, or two, considering how long we will be here. But, nope, instead, the relaxing drug has done well at it's profession, and I am fast asleep. When I awake, It is time to go home. Vitals checked again, and away I go (of course with a list of things of what to expect, and a list of reasons I should call the hospital.....)
I'm shocked, I feel fine. I think I can drive home. Aaron won't let me. Bad idea anyway, because once we start moving, I am fast asleep, again. We made it home, and all I want is food, bath (scalding hot), and my bed (oooooooo my bed. that's me rubbing my hands together in anticipation of my bed). Lets see what happens tomorrow. Nighty night.
I DiG GOod NeWs
Today, I see the Doc to find out the results of the PET/CT scan and the bone marrow biopsy. With the port-o-cath placed in my arm, the results of these tests is the only thing standing between me and chemo therapy. My disposition is very calm and my countenance reveals excited curiosity.
Dr. smiley pants walks in and delivers the much anticipated news, that the Hodgkin's is in stage 2A. 2, indicating that two lymph node areas are affected (the same two that showed up on some chest x-rays I had done earlier), and A, indicating that I have no symptoms of the disease. This makes me more happy than I can explain. The Doc is also very happy with these results. The doc initially thought I would undergo 8 chemo sessions, but these test results changes that. He no prescribes 6 sessions (3 rounds). So much the better for me. He wants to know when I want to start. "TODAY", I chirp. "How about tomorrow instead", he says. "DEAL". And just like that, I am scheduled to receive my first dose of chemo in about 24 hours.
Now, why the cuss am i excited about this!? I thought I would be terrified when this day finally arrived, But no way. I am so excited!! I am at a loss trying to understand my feelings right now. But, I'll take it. I know, It's because I am one step closer to being healed. That's It!!! No doom and gloom here,...besides, it wouldn't go with my nail color. (they are a cheery, summery neon pink. they make me smile)
So, the nurse gives us a walk through of the infusion center and an overview of what to expect. There will be meds administered to combat the nausea and vomiting. I am so glad to hear this, as I hate calling Earl, praying to the porcelain god, blowing chunks...... you get my drift. She also says that my urine will be bright orange (Hummm, all I wanna know is, is the orange pee painful, and can I have sex. She says no pain, just orange. OK, no biggie, and that YES, I can have sex) due to one of the drugs. Oh!!!!!, and that I should probably cut my hair really short, because in one or two weeks it will begin to fall out (I was expecting this. I'm not afraid of short hair or a bald head. Well, unless my head is shaped like an egg. I like eggs, but not in head shapes. But I'm not so worried about this, it's part of getting better, Right)
Now, I have been loaded down with information and sent on my way to prepare for tomorrow. Home I go to get in some reading and relaxing time. I'll let you know how the first chemo session goes!!!!
Dr. smiley pants walks in and delivers the much anticipated news, that the Hodgkin's is in stage 2A. 2, indicating that two lymph node areas are affected (the same two that showed up on some chest x-rays I had done earlier), and A, indicating that I have no symptoms of the disease. This makes me more happy than I can explain. The Doc is also very happy with these results. The doc initially thought I would undergo 8 chemo sessions, but these test results changes that. He no prescribes 6 sessions (3 rounds). So much the better for me. He wants to know when I want to start. "TODAY", I chirp. "How about tomorrow instead", he says. "DEAL". And just like that, I am scheduled to receive my first dose of chemo in about 24 hours.
Now, why the cuss am i excited about this!? I thought I would be terrified when this day finally arrived, But no way. I am so excited!! I am at a loss trying to understand my feelings right now. But, I'll take it. I know, It's because I am one step closer to being healed. That's It!!! No doom and gloom here,...besides, it wouldn't go with my nail color. (they are a cheery, summery neon pink. they make me smile)
So, the nurse gives us a walk through of the infusion center and an overview of what to expect. There will be meds administered to combat the nausea and vomiting. I am so glad to hear this, as I hate calling Earl, praying to the porcelain god, blowing chunks...... you get my drift. She also says that my urine will be bright orange (Hummm, all I wanna know is, is the orange pee painful, and can I have sex. She says no pain, just orange. OK, no biggie, and that YES, I can have sex) due to one of the drugs. Oh!!!!!, and that I should probably cut my hair really short, because in one or two weeks it will begin to fall out (I was expecting this. I'm not afraid of short hair or a bald head. Well, unless my head is shaped like an egg. I like eggs, but not in head shapes. But I'm not so worried about this, it's part of getting better, Right)
Now, I have been loaded down with information and sent on my way to prepare for tomorrow. Home I go to get in some reading and relaxing time. I'll let you know how the first chemo session goes!!!!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
I'M GoiNG to SleEP
Today, I am having the bone marrow biopsy done and the port-o-cath placed into my arm. You need not wonder how I am feeling, because you know there is the mandatory IV if I am to go to sleep. So, I am very afraid of getting this IV, but I have to be brave and am trying to remain confident that I won't feel a thing.
I meet the nurse, she is so nice. She's taking me back to the operating room. I quietly reveal to her, like a little child, that I am afraid. She immediately turns into a wonderful, caring mother. She's lovely.
She explains everything to me as she preps the room. She brings in the other nurse, who will deliver the IV into my arm. She also understands my fears and is very warm and reassuring. It's time to get things started, and I have become flushed, trembling, and completely unstrung. They talk me back to semi calmness. One nurse lets me hold her hand, while the other nurse prepares to start the IV. My baby delivery breathing ensues, and I think I am breaking Nurse Pat's hand as the IV finds its temporary resting place in my arm.
The Doc comes in, he has a wonderful sense of humor. He keeps me laughing until its time to................................................................................................................................................................
.............................................................................................It's over, I'm awake (but not really). I'm moving. I'm home. I take a hot bath (where did that water come from). I eat a burger (where did that burger come from). (I suspect that Aaron is behind all of this stuff appearing out of thin air). I take some codine. My back is killing me, and my arm is going to fall off if I move it. I go to the bathroom. I am calling Earl.......Eaarrlll Eaarrllll.....I brush my teeth. I'm going to sleep
I meet the nurse, she is so nice. She's taking me back to the operating room. I quietly reveal to her, like a little child, that I am afraid. She immediately turns into a wonderful, caring mother. She's lovely.
She explains everything to me as she preps the room. She brings in the other nurse, who will deliver the IV into my arm. She also understands my fears and is very warm and reassuring. It's time to get things started, and I have become flushed, trembling, and completely unstrung. They talk me back to semi calmness. One nurse lets me hold her hand, while the other nurse prepares to start the IV. My baby delivery breathing ensues, and I think I am breaking Nurse Pat's hand as the IV finds its temporary resting place in my arm.
The Doc comes in, he has a wonderful sense of humor. He keeps me laughing until its time to................................................................................................................................................................
.............................................................................................It's over, I'm awake (but not really). I'm moving. I'm home. I take a hot bath (where did that water come from). I eat a burger (where did that burger come from). (I suspect that Aaron is behind all of this stuff appearing out of thin air). I take some codine. My back is killing me, and my arm is going to fall off if I move it. I go to the bathroom. I am calling Earl.......Eaarrlll Eaarrllll.....I brush my teeth. I'm going to sleep
Bone Marrow WHaT
Here we go!!!! And I don't mean that with a Budweiser state of mind....Its time for the bone marrow biopsy. So, the Doc says, they will numb the area. The area being biopsied is my upper back hip area. The boney area right above the butt cheek. He says, they will numb the area first ( humm, there's a needle, but I can do it), then they are gonna push a longer needle down into the bone (now, this isn't sounding possible. Isn't bone pretty hard , I'm having haunted visions), then they will put a thicker needle into the bone and pull out some bone marrow ( howling chaos in my brain, now here is where I pass out, mentally). Ok, so it has been explained, I'm again, a nervous wreck. I felt helpless, hopeless, and downtrodden. They are gonna give me something to relax me..................Ooooooo, I'm so relaxed, sooooo calm and sleepy. Doc is back and ready to get things done. I'm on the table, on my stomach, Doc is cleaning the area. Thats cold. Doc is ready to numb the area. I'm ready. Owwww!!!. (thats me, letting out a scream). Doc, says, "OK, we're not doing this today." I say, "but you poked me". Doc says, "no, it was just a prick, the needle didn't go in, but thats ok. I see you won't be able to do this, and that's ok. We will have the biopsy done and your port-o-cath placed in at the same time with you under anethesia." I am no longer filled with agony and despair. Now, thats what I'm talking about. Put me to sleep and when I wake up, all the painful stuff is done. Oh,(forgot to tell you) I am getting a port-o-cath placed in my arm so that I don't have to be stressed about getting poked so many times. It's a port to my vein, therefore, they don't have to find a vein each time I have to have lab work done, and it is also used to administer the chemo. It's a sort of semi permament vein access. Well, this day has been draining. I am done, stick a fork in me. Home to sleep. Too much mental trauma for one day.
I ThOUgHt A ScAN Was Like At THE AiRPorT
2nd appointment of the day. The PET/CT scan. This is to see exactly what lymphnodes are affected by the Hodgkins Lymphoma. This scan is going to see inside of me. Medical Technology is so amazingly advanced (I know this isn't a new type of scan, but it is to me). So first things first, I gotta get poked. I am a nervous wreck right now just knowing that. I'm sitting here breathing like I'm about to give birth, like I'm ready to push, all to take a needle in my arm. The nurse is wonderfully patient with me, and she promises not to hurt me.---Yea Right!!!----Ok, I'm ready to do it, I'm ready for this lil IV to be put in. With my breathing ritual almost over, and the baby must have been born, the nurse does her magic. Well Well Well, I didn't feel a thing, but my arm hurts from that damn IV just sitting in there. ELKK. Now I get to wait for an hour for the medicine to do its job, then the scan will do its reading...........................................................................................................................................
Time for the PET/CT scan. The technician walks us back to this dark and dank room which houses this important and formidable PET scan. It looks like something for space purposes. It looks like a huge long doughnut. It looks like I'm not getting my cuss in that thing. They want me to lie on the table (no problem), put my arms above my head (I can do that), and send me through this unpromising looking machine (here is where the problem starts). I discovered from my first PET scan, that I am apparently claustrophobic. SO, I cant move my arms from this position for 45 minutes. NO NO NO NO NO NO, take me out, please. Not gonna work. This is OK. The technician says they will wait for the bigger machine and It will be much better. ...................................................................................................................................OK, I'm up again. They were right, the big machine is much bigger, and the room isn't so frightening. Ok, here I go again. I can do this. On the table. OHHHH,, arms don't have to be up with this machine because it is wider. Great. Annndd, I'm off. The table is moving into the hole. My breathing is not steady anymore. My breathing is erratic. My eyes open and shut immediately. I am inches from the top of the machine. Am I in a coffin. Get Me out of here, please please please. They pull me out. My body apparently has built in fault lines because I am involuntarily shaking, and OMG, what is this salty discharge coming from my eyes. What the cuss, I am crying like a baby. Literally shaking and crying. WTF!!!!!! But, I can do this. I made it through one before. I can do it. I ask for a cold towel for my forehead and for the blankets to be taken off of my body. They can accomodate me with that. Here I go agian. Deep breaths, saying my prayers. NOT opening my eyes this time. Thinking of a tranquil place, saying my prayers, saying my prayers. I think I fell asleep, because it is alllll over. I did it. I made it out alive. I hope my body quaking didn't shift anything from their important positions. PET scan, done. Now, here comes the technician telling me what a great job I did. Oh, and he wants to take the IV out. All I wanna know is is it going to hurt. Nope, no hurt!!!!
Time for the PET/CT scan. The technician walks us back to this dark and dank room which houses this important and formidable PET scan. It looks like something for space purposes. It looks like a huge long doughnut. It looks like I'm not getting my cuss in that thing. They want me to lie on the table (no problem), put my arms above my head (I can do that), and send me through this unpromising looking machine (here is where the problem starts). I discovered from my first PET scan, that I am apparently claustrophobic. SO, I cant move my arms from this position for 45 minutes. NO NO NO NO NO NO, take me out, please. Not gonna work. This is OK. The technician says they will wait for the bigger machine and It will be much better. ...................................................................................................................................OK, I'm up again. They were right, the big machine is much bigger, and the room isn't so frightening. Ok, here I go again. I can do this. On the table. OHHHH,, arms don't have to be up with this machine because it is wider. Great. Annndd, I'm off. The table is moving into the hole. My breathing is not steady anymore. My breathing is erratic. My eyes open and shut immediately. I am inches from the top of the machine. Am I in a coffin. Get Me out of here, please please please. They pull me out. My body apparently has built in fault lines because I am involuntarily shaking, and OMG, what is this salty discharge coming from my eyes. What the cuss, I am crying like a baby. Literally shaking and crying. WTF!!!!!! But, I can do this. I made it through one before. I can do it. I ask for a cold towel for my forehead and for the blankets to be taken off of my body. They can accomodate me with that. Here I go agian. Deep breaths, saying my prayers. NOT opening my eyes this time. Thinking of a tranquil place, saying my prayers, saying my prayers. I think I fell asleep, because it is alllll over. I did it. I made it out alive. I hope my body quaking didn't shift anything from their important positions. PET scan, done. Now, here comes the technician telling me what a great job I did. Oh, and he wants to take the IV out. All I wanna know is is it going to hurt. Nope, no hurt!!!!
So MaNY THingS To dO
This day I'm about to tell you of, is the day I had to get the procedures done to get the stage of cancer determined. This was back in early May):
Today, I have 3 appointments scheduled. I have to have an EKG (ecocardiogram) done to test my heart. They need to make certain my heart is strong enough to take the chemo. ME, STRONG LIKE BULL!!!!
Then, I will be off to Nuclear Medicine to have a PET/CT scan done. Really? Nuc Med, what the cuss!!. But alright, If I have to.
And last, but not at all least and definitily not exciting, there is the most dreaded ( I have had nightmares about this thing) bone marrow biopsy.
So, Im off to the cardio wing to have my heart checked. do dodo dodoooooo. Im just easy breasy oh so pleasey right now.....why you ask............... because there are no NEEDLES invovled in this test. I get to my room, do as I am told and thats it, EKG, piece o'cake. BING BAM BOOM, Done!! No sweat, no stress, annnnddddd no needles!!! My work here is done, except that, the very nice and comforting cardio technician won't leave the room so i can put my bra and shirt back on. Hummm. And not only won't she leave, she is standing here right in front of me. What the cuss!!! It's not as though I have the taughtly spectacular boobs of a 20 year old, why the hell won't she leave. She is still trying to make conversation, and I'm just going along with it, like, no problem lady, I'll just have a full blown shirtless conversation with you for as long as you want. Yep, juuusstt keep ooonnnn talking.---- Well, I finally start turning toward where Aaron is sitting (by which the technician had drawn the curtain, so my own boyfriend cannot see me) behind the curtain, and she conviently places herself between he and I. Seriously Lady (Im thinking in my head). She seems to really be trying to keep me safe from that possible peeping tom or kidnapper sitting right there in that chair, in the same room with me, who walked in here with me, who is my boyfriend. HELLOOOOO. She is weird. Nice and all, but really weird. I don't need protection from my boyfiend. Maybe she is like Sookie Stackhouse and can read his mind, and maybe he was having some weird thoughts going on and she felt she would shield me from him. Yeaaa, that must be what it was. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Today, I have 3 appointments scheduled. I have to have an EKG (ecocardiogram) done to test my heart. They need to make certain my heart is strong enough to take the chemo. ME, STRONG LIKE BULL!!!!
Then, I will be off to Nuclear Medicine to have a PET/CT scan done. Really? Nuc Med, what the cuss!!. But alright, If I have to.
And last, but not at all least and definitily not exciting, there is the most dreaded ( I have had nightmares about this thing) bone marrow biopsy.
So, Im off to the cardio wing to have my heart checked. do dodo dodoooooo. Im just easy breasy oh so pleasey right now.....why you ask............... because there are no NEEDLES invovled in this test. I get to my room, do as I am told and thats it, EKG, piece o'cake. BING BAM BOOM, Done!! No sweat, no stress, annnnddddd no needles!!! My work here is done, except that, the very nice and comforting cardio technician won't leave the room so i can put my bra and shirt back on. Hummm. And not only won't she leave, she is standing here right in front of me. What the cuss!!! It's not as though I have the taughtly spectacular boobs of a 20 year old, why the hell won't she leave. She is still trying to make conversation, and I'm just going along with it, like, no problem lady, I'll just have a full blown shirtless conversation with you for as long as you want. Yep, juuusstt keep ooonnnn talking.---- Well, I finally start turning toward where Aaron is sitting (by which the technician had drawn the curtain, so my own boyfriend cannot see me) behind the curtain, and she conviently places herself between he and I. Seriously Lady (Im thinking in my head). She seems to really be trying to keep me safe from that possible peeping tom or kidnapper sitting right there in that chair, in the same room with me, who walked in here with me, who is my boyfriend. HELLOOOOO. She is weird. Nice and all, but really weird. I don't need protection from my boyfiend. Maybe she is like Sookie Stackhouse and can read his mind, and maybe he was having some weird thoughts going on and she felt she would shield me from him. Yeaaa, that must be what it was. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Still Catch UP
Hello All. I hope you all had a great day. I still have a lot of post's to put up to get u all caught up. However, today, I had quite the experience at the Doc's office with the whole radiation preperations appointment. I dont know if I should tell you about that right now, or tell latter. If I tell now, things will be out of sequence. I'm gonna think about it for a lil bil and get back to you. What do you guys think? keep it in sequence, or do you wanna hear about my breakdown today?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Friends and Family sAY tHe DarNDest ThINGs.
So, at this point in the game, I have told the immediate family and friends. My boyfriend has been there with me every single step of the way. In fact, LOL, the day we got the news, we were both quiet on the drive home, and also very quite when we got home for about 20 or 30 minutes. So, he's on the computer (researching I think), and I'm lying on the couch staring at the ceiling, he comes over and the first thing he says is "I've been looking at engagement rings". This is what he breaks the silence with!!!! What the Hell!!!..........Now, I'm not saying I don't want to marry the man, cuss, we've been together for 6 years. It was just the subject he decided to break the silence with. I was like, woah there, I'm not dying here!!!!! But, he has been great. My dad and stepmom popped up on our door step the following night. What a pleasant surprise. They got in their car and drove from Arizona to make sure I was ok. I told them I was, but they just had to see for themselves. That ended up being an awesome weekend.
All of my friends were very shocked to hear the news but very supportive. One of my friends was even willing to help me get to the bottom of all of this. She says to me, "How did you get it?" Errrrkkkkkkk (thats me slamming my mental brakes) Well cuss, It was probably those yellow pants I wore, that's probably how I got it. Cuss, I knew those pants looked dangerous.......... What the cuss does she mean, how did I get it. Cuss, it was nothing I did. It just happened silly. LOL
No, but seriously, everyone has been great and compassionate and supportive. And I love them all. So, onward and upward. I will talk to ya later.
All of my friends were very shocked to hear the news but very supportive. One of my friends was even willing to help me get to the bottom of all of this. She says to me, "How did you get it?" Errrrkkkkkkk (thats me slamming my mental brakes) Well cuss, It was probably those yellow pants I wore, that's probably how I got it. Cuss, I knew those pants looked dangerous.......... What the cuss does she mean, how did I get it. Cuss, it was nothing I did. It just happened silly. LOL
No, but seriously, everyone has been great and compassionate and supportive. And I love them all. So, onward and upward. I will talk to ya later.
Thats Just Lovely, .....juuuustttt lovely
So, I met with the Doc today. Man, he's pretty awesome (he and his nurse). This whole place is pretty surprising. Everyone is so friendly and helpful. Since I have to come to a cancer center, I am glad for it to be this one. To my surprise, they drew my blood today. Man, it took a moment for that to happen. Oh, have I not yet mentioned to you, I AM TERRIFIED OF NEEDLES!!!!!!!!!. Oh, I have tattoos, but that is not the same as being stuck deep into your flesh to have something put in or taken out...................................................................................................................................
Wheww!!!!!! I passed out there for a minute. EWWW, I hate even talking about needles. Anywho, I found out that I will be getting poked a whole lot. And, it starts with the PET scan, next up is the terribly frightening and painful sounding bone marrow biopsy, then there are the biweekly chemotherapy sessions, topped off with blood being drawn prior to every chemo session and every doc visit. So, to sum it all up, There's about to be a whole lotta poking going on. Hell, I'm more terrified of all this needle talk than I am of the cancer. What is my dang problem!! Well, I have to get the PET scan and bone marrow biopsy done before I can start treatment. These tests will let them know what stage the lymphoma is in, and then a treatment plan will be prescribed. So, I have a week or so to contemplate this needle situation and let it sink into my brain. Maybe when the time comes, I won't be such a dam baby!!!!!!
Wheww!!!!!! I passed out there for a minute. EWWW, I hate even talking about needles. Anywho, I found out that I will be getting poked a whole lot. And, it starts with the PET scan, next up is the terribly frightening and painful sounding bone marrow biopsy, then there are the biweekly chemotherapy sessions, topped off with blood being drawn prior to every chemo session and every doc visit. So, to sum it all up, There's about to be a whole lotta poking going on. Hell, I'm more terrified of all this needle talk than I am of the cancer. What is my dang problem!! Well, I have to get the PET scan and bone marrow biopsy done before I can start treatment. These tests will let them know what stage the lymphoma is in, and then a treatment plan will be prescribed. So, I have a week or so to contemplate this needle situation and let it sink into my brain. Maybe when the time comes, I won't be such a dam baby!!!!!!
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